A little less conversation

1.
Y: “*absently* ooh na na, what’s my name—“
B: “ooh na na I’m eating grains.”
*collective silence as Joey and I turn to stare at him*

2.
Lunching at Open Door Policy... we finish the appetisers and are waiting for main courses.
Colleague: “Oh look. *points* The door is closed.”
Y: “Yes... it’s air-conditioned what.”
Colleague: “But it’s Open Door—“
Y: “OHMYGOD.”

3.
The Magnus Dinner
J: “*gulps fervent mouthfuls of beer from half-filled Kronenbourgs as she takes them to the sink* I always make these desperate attempts to not waste food”

*

V: “Yes so he asked him... teehee.”

Y: “*directed at V* Slut.”
V: “*directed at Y* Bitch.”

*

V: “Do we need plates?”
Y: “No la... (after a while) Ooh look we can just tear up the boxes and use them as receptacles.”
M: “Receptacles.”
V: “Receptacles.”
Y: “What.”
M: “Nothing. Here, VK, let me hand you a receptacle.”
V: “Yes, let’s eat out of these receptacles.”
&c
Receptacle Debacle ensues. I cannot remember who said what anymore.

*

V: "I can't do hiphop anymore."

Y: "But it wouldn't be exactly hiphop--"

M: "Yeah... It's X's hips and X's hops, but it's not HIPHOP."

*

Y: “I can’t eat my sorbet because my GARNISH is in the way *glares at V*”
M: “That’s not a strawberry, it’s a tumour.”

*

V: “*stares at Magnus* I can’t imagine you being a father... can’t picture you being affectionate.”
Y: “Yeah you never PDA enough.”
J: “You will just treat them like how you treat your dancers...”
M: “and HOW do I treat my dancers?”
Y: “...You watch us dance and then say ‘oh my god multiple organ failure’.”

*

And this is so politically incorrect, so I will censor-censor—but I felt the love hahaha
Y: “Yes like how I look like I’m 28 right??”
M: “WHO said you look 28?”
Y: “So-and-so.”
M: “Fuck them.”

*

J: “I hope An An ends on time tomorrow.”
Y: “Oh... where are you going? Gathering?”
J: “... Hei’s.”

4.
(speaking in earnest to my sister, expounding upon something serious [i think??] over gchat...)
M: *bursts out laughing*
Y: “... what?”
M: “Did you realise what you were saying? you sounded like this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDQCaGlqLFY&fb_source=message ”

... oops (in my defense—oi. Exaggeration.).

5.
Taboo
ZL: “*reads card*... I WHAT you!”
A: “I can think of a thousand words to fit in that, and none of them are polite.”

*

S: “*reads card* Ok think of a body part--! love what?”
ZL: “BREASTS”
(handles)

*

M: *reads card* ...ok... this is a HYDROCARBON that you put on your body--!
(general wtf and guessing mayhem of suntan lotion, suntan oil, moisturiser...)

the word was mascara.

6.
B: “Mummy I'm going for a job interview on Monday.”
Mum: “As what?”
Y+J: “Waite—“
B: “STRIPPER.”
Mum: “你给我留在家里我给你二十块脱！”
Y: “I'LL PAY HIM FORTY TO KEEP HIS CLOTHES ON.”
J: “eh pay me twenty to watch leh”