(from 30/10/2009...)
i found this post, unpublished, and read it and smiled.

i miss you girls.
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"after some dithering-- mainly because i was feeling antisocial and not up to rushing out-- was convinced to go out and meet lilylee and thesmallkid after the latter said she wouldn't see me anymore after she flew for toronto (my reply: "my heart bleeds. i'm on my way"). was rewarded with 3/4 of a corn muffin baked with affection and utterly saleable (quoth i, "comparable with kenny roger's") shared with lilylee (the other quarter). was also ostracised because, when told that thesmallkid didn't know what cornmeal was, i said, "how can you not know what cornmeal is??! you just eat corn and make a meal of it and that's cornmeal!"

thesmallkid: "OHHH my god i'd forgotten how lame you could be."
me: "... i'm sitting down."
*collective groan*
thesmallkid: "she never stops."

but EH i was talking to people who wanted to put on seven different colours of makeup and say "hiixxx", "muackiez" and tie their hair somewhere along the tangential plane of "\" when skyping, with concomitant retarded voice. also someone who is thinking of buying LIPstick protectant and putting it in a carrot as a birthday present for a guy (we all think she's going to turn him gay). ALSO, with people who can classify hair as "slut" and "virgin" and "abstinent". omg. apparently i have slut hair."
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i guess we all know how the lip protectant turned out :D


woke up to this view from my window this morning:

winter is really approaching. or here. was supposed to attempt to run with Inese today but took one look at the weather and... well. i think of how warm prague and budapest were (vienna wasn't, we arrived in a cold snap which we promptly made worse by setting out for the farflung reaches of the Zentralfriedhof [Central Cemetery] hunting for Mozart and friends), how even wandering the streets with wet hair at 1am plus was only pleasantly bracing-- and then I compare it with Sweden.

Then again Uppsala isn't THAT cold after you get used to it. It's just cold enough to make me hungry all the time :( ALL the time. the kind of "omg if i don't eat now i will keel over and start eating my gloves" hungry-- which is turning me into a ball (andrew's wonderfully flattering and reassuring words on seeing me). ARGH ARGH ARGH. and I've calculated, if I sign up for more dance stuff I'm not going to have enough money for food. epic fail-- or not, because then maybe i'll stop putting on weight?

time to put salt on those gloves, baby! yum yum
Posted at 11:42 PM

come pick me up
take me out
fuck me up
steal my records
screw all my friends
they're all full of shit
with a smile on your face
then do it again
i wish you would

baby i'm back :) i've missed everyone! here's a slow-down low-down: 2nd november-10th november, prague-vienna-budapest-nykoping, 1500 photos (and counting). highlights of trip were too many to mention but mention them i shall anyway:
- staying in wombat's. that is one crazy hostel but super fun
- dashing for and almost missing our budapest-prague bus (10 secs more and we'd have had it)-- and the very very wonderful man who nonchalantly helped us like it was all par for the course. he saved our asses
- the incredible hungarian opera house. best cultural experience of trip, bar none; prague's musica florea concert and Salome in the Viennese Staatsoper did not even come close to Budapest's The Brothers Karamazov. Incredible baroque interior, flawless technique, amazing staging.
- being stranded out in the boondocks of Vienna's train stations because of a scheduling error (this happens when you don't read German and just order your train tickets and ASSUME), asking and being helped by station personnel, walking and getting lost at midnight on rainy Viennese streets and being picked up and fetched to the doorstep of a B&B by an incredibly kind man. 20 euros for an extra night's lodging was cheap for that experience, and for the fact that we all sat down and talked things out so the rest of the trip was less weird
- meeting all sorts of wonderful people-- from the toilet and lift attendants in the Staatsoper to Haruko in Cafe Demel to Kate in Wombat's to Nana in Central Backpack King to funny-as-hell Sandemans tour guide Huw to very very very dreamy G, who offered Ann and me full body massages within 15 minutes of talking to us. What can I say, I think he was drunk. Either that or the drugs were still in his system (the poor guy got drugged and robbed in Prague about two days before he went to Budapest). but he was very very very VERY nice and funny and personable, and he gave me a glue stick so i can stick postcards and stuff in my travel journal
- I never thought I was an art kind of girl, but I went into the Leopold Museum in Vienna and didn't extricate myself for three hours. I just wandered from room to room, painting to painting, starving but unable to leave
- St. Istvan's Basilica , Michaelerkirche, Peterkirche, St. Vitus' Cathedral. Mankind has the capacity for so much good, so much beauty
- crying my eyes out in front of the Pinkas Synagogue. Mankind has the ability for so much pain and horror-- so much darkness and destruction and cruelty
- eating an ENTIRE pizza in Nykoping. I kid you not.

okay i can't think anymore. I want to go to Hungary again. Budapest was definitely my favourite part of the trip, and no it wasn't because of dreamy-Australian-boy (give me a little more credit... okay maybe not that much credit HAHA): the city just grabs you by the heartstrings. Hungary's had so much shit thrown at it that it has no pretensions left, or is unwilling to put them up. Prague was touristy and not that beautiful, Vienna was so cleaned up that at times it felt sterile, but Budapest's grittiness made it real and down-to-earth and stole my breath and heart. And the people were so open and friendly that upon returning to Sweden today the usual Swedish reservation was hard to accept.

i have work tomorrow and a ton of school stuff to catch up on and practice at night damnit. AGHHH that reminds me I went for some modern dance class in Prague (instead of street jazz, because somehow the earlier receptionist had given me the wrong timing/day or something). it was SO BAD. don't want to think about it i'm going offffffff
Posted at 8:03 AM

i want to be reincarnated as a ballerina in the Hungarian national ballet. Heck, I would be happy to be reincarnated as a pointe shoe of a ballerina in the Hungarian national ballet.

I don't want to leave Budapest, for more reasons than one. I think Jinglin will understand.
Posted at 10:21 AM

all my bags are packed i'm ready to go
(lalalalalala i've forgotten the lyrics)
already i'm so lonesome i could cry

so kiss me and smile for me
tell me that you'll wait for me
hold me like you'll never let me go

cos i'm leaving on a jet plane
november 10 i'll be back again

i have so so so much to write about but my train leaves in 39 mins and it's a 30 min walk to the station. ARGH. ok people-- here's the summary. i miss singapore terribly, i am incredibly grateful that my parents forced me to go with people, and i love you all even if i can't say the words all the time.

words thought in the company of a photograph and said in the company of a gravestone-- that was written about the words "I love you", and it's so true, and so painful.

ok CRAP I have 35 mins to get down to the station. bye people-- and thanks to the creatures, to foodpoon, to tommy and jinglin and simyee and huiwen and i am SURE i have forgotten someone i am so sorry but thank you for boosting my confidence and taking care of me and talking to me! and replying my emails, no less :) LOVE.
Posted at 2:22 AM

smoke in my hair, glass all over my shoes, TECTONIC PLATES of makeup to get rid of, plus i ripped a hole in my pretty new lace tights :(

oh, and there's nothing like swedish autumn nights to make you realise within 10 seconds of stepping out of your dorm that i) the extra layer under your too-strategically-ripped shirt was a very good idea and ii) the slit in your "skirt" is cut way too high for sense or decency or any vestige of warmth.

but i had a lot of fun :) seeing the way my quiet uppsala was transformed into screaming madness for one night was actually kind of interesting.

and oh, for about 3 minutes i was incredibly distressed because i thought i'd dropped my poonie keychain somewhere in the broken-glass-and-darkness, but then i found it after emptying my purse in the middle of the street so i was happy again.

rambling. good night my dear Sweden, good morning my beloved and very-much-missed Singapore.

and, of course, happy 21st krystal tang! :):)
good trip to thesmallkid!
jiayou to xf and foodpoon!
Posted at 9:30 AM

maybe, just maybe, let's forget everything else and learn something called discretion, shall we?

if that's too big a word for you, try "keeping your big fat mouth shut".
Posted at 7:40 AM

omgomgomg my legs hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt even my BUTT hurts

i don't think i can go for bollywood class tmr (stop laughing package of 3 classes and above=200crowns so i can go for all 6 classes including yes yes bollywood)

i am going to curl up and hug my legs and whimper i've never felt them so abused not even after stupid 12.1km-and-30-deg-incline runnus



but i enjoyed every minute anyway (except for the utter humiliation obviously). ok curling up and hugging now
Posted at 5:11 AM